“You just want to tell it once, your memory is fragmented, the experience is complex, it’s hard to get it all together to share.”
Survivor reflection.
On reading this guidebook, you’re likely going to have more questions than answers. This is good! We want you to go away and think, reflect, digest and share. This is how change happens.
As we have said, those of us working to support women and children come to this work because we care.
We often work in systems that are fragmented, in competition and underfunded. Compassion fatigue runs high and burnout is common, and people feel helpless that they can’t help more.
We often hear that people are overstretched and overwhelmed, and because of this drop the ball in the support they are able to give. They under-deliver despite their best efforts.
External politics, funders’ priorities, management changes, and social challenges impact on our ability to make changes and to provide the support we want to. There are amazing people out there who are doing their best to support women. We call this group of individuals Yvonnes.
”It comes down to having the right person at the right time- it’s very reliant on individuals to help, it’s not systemic. Yvone takes the load off, and provides reassurance around what is happening in my mind- my memory retention is very poor”
Survivor reflection.
Yvonnes don’t judge; they understand that the risk has now changed shape, not ended, they advocate alongside survivors, helping them to make sense of their experience and the systems they must now navigate. They do what they say they will. They show up on time, they say when things don’t happen, and why. They believe women. They know she is a good mum, a good person.
Yvonnes are great, and have been instrumental to women, but individual responses are not enough. We need systems to shift their understanding of shame, of risk and of response.
We know there are things outside of our control, but we must also reflect on our role in system blockages and failures.
We cannot tell women the solution is to ask for help; because when they do, they often do not receive the help they need and the response causes harm.
They find that their experiences are not validated, held, or supported unless they work with a specific individual who goes above and beyond. We need to change that.
So what is happening?
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Go forward: